When It Rains.....

They (who ever they may be) always say that when it rains, it pours. I would really appreciate it if it would calm down with the pouring stuff for just a little while.

I don't know where he and I are headed in our future and I really don't know if there really is one but all I know is that I can't take much more.

I hate feeling the way that I feel, like whatever he tells me isn't the truth. For example: I ask "How was your night?" "It was bad, someone stole all of the rent money out of my wallet.". Well in my head I'm freaking out because that was an entire paycheck down the drain also how did they take all of the money out and not take the wallet. Another thing, his night consisted of playing poker, did he lose all of the money? I just don't know what to think.

I didn't sleep last night, got out of bed super early and came over to Panera (my old home) to sit and think about what to do. I also came to see people that I haven't seen in a long time and it actually made me feel much better seeing people that I used to spend so much time with. I just don't know how to proceed from here.

I'm not really sad because money is really only money, I'm just upset because I don't know if he took the money and gambled it or if it was indeed stolen.

So, I didn't wake him, I just left a note stating that I was going to clear my head and that I was going to spend some time with my dad. I do love him, more than I've ever loved anyone; it just hurts because I don't know how to feel about the money.