Blah

"I never told you what I should have said, I never told you, I just held it in".

Next time, when I feel the need to say what I feel, I will hold it in. Being told "I might feel the same way, it's just way too soon and I've been hurt in the past" is like being told um, thanks but no.

My heart is broken a little right now but I guess its my own fault for letting my heart get so involved so early.

I've done so much for him just because I want to, because I care. I never really thought about showing him that I love him by doing all of the things that I do, I just do them because he deserves it and for him to say that he might feel the same hurts me more than it really should. I'm numb right now because I feel so dumb for doing so much....perhaps for nothing.....I don't know.

I want to be able to detach. To just be in the moment. Hate this.