Jeezaas

Can life just chill out for awhile. Seriously?

Whirlwind of stuff going on and I think I'm handling it pretty well but somethings I just have to brush off because I think I'll lose my mind. Some of those mind losing things are as follows:

Kellen. The whole love obsession that I had awhile back (if he doesn't tell me that he loves me then I'll lose my mind) is finally over. I've figured out that the love thing will inevitably make things more complicated and right now I could live without more complications. He is a great guy and I really think things will work out with him but I have to keep a level head, keep moving forward, and understand that he doesn't make my world turn; I do. Things will eventually move in that general direction, or at least I feel that they will but I'm gonna chill and do what is best for me and for us.

He goes in tomorrow to take a test for a really great job. The job entails 14 weeks of out of town training. When he told me that I immediately had a panic attack because I hate being away from my significant other but also because we have to push back moving into an apartment together because I can't be alone in an area that I don't know very well for that long. Another aspect of the job is that he could be gone for up to a week on service calls. It sucks; however the job is a good one and I think everything will work out. I just have to get my freaking out complete.

School is another HUGE issue. I am going to graduate school but when, where, & how are the big questions. If Kellen decides that he is going to go to UF in a year and a half for nuclear engineering he would have to move to Gainesville and so would I. Well, I could postpone starting school right away and go there to get the MBA which would be a better option in the long run. Or, I could just get it now and have it done when that time actually comes. I don't know. How am I supposed to pay for school? Money blows. How am I supposed to pass the GMAT and GRE? They are so hard and I suck at test taking, it's awful.

I guess that's all of the whirlwind. Except for the job aspect which I really couldn't care less about. I do what I'm supposed to and then sit and do nothing until some other random task comes along. Whatever.