I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I miss Jacksonville. It gets worse everyday; I wake up and think that it will be better but as the day goes on I just get more sad. He comes home so tired and all I want to do is let him sleep and go to the airport to fly home. I truly thought that since the first month was good that I wouldn't be homesick at all, it's actually worse than I thought. I feel stifled, sad, empty. I don't want him to know how bad it is because I know that he will just send me home and I really don't know if he and I will be ok after that. I would like to think that everything will work out just fine between us, that our relationship is worth all of this hardship and lonliness but sometimes I just really don't know. I don't bring up sex anymore because it annoys him, I don't bring up home because he will just fly me back and that will be the end, I don't talk about my family because he just gets annoyed with them as well, so I pretty much don't talk about much of anything anymore.

I do love the kid, if I truly didn't I would be back in Florida as we speak, but since I do love him I am willing to deal with all of the pain of being homesick and deal with the stifled, sad feeling just so that this relationship could potentially work.