Just one of many...

I always seem to have something to rant about, and they are usually about the same three things.

So porn is a pet peeve of mine. He uses my Ipod and when I went to use it last night YouPorn was the first thing on it. REALLY? Not only do you know that I hate porn, but you look at it on MY Ipod, you must have lost your mind. So I told him that while his mom was here and we couldn't have sex I completely understood him looking at porn and ya know....other stuff but now that we're alone again and he has me to do with what he pleases that he shouldn't have to look at it. It actually makes me feel like I'm not doing a good enough job in the bedroom so he has to go take hour long showers with his best hand friend to make up for what I lack. So even after telling him all of that and him saying that I'm enough and that I do everything great there was porn on it again this morning!!!! I give up, I'm not going to let it hurt my feelings anymore, it has nothing to do with me..he just wants to do what he wants to do and I don't have any say in it.

Another rant I have is that while his mom was here I listened to her bitch about how much money he owes everyday. Well when she left I made a notebook and wrote everything down for him. He looked at it this morning, threw it across the room and make a huge fuss about how he's not paying all of it. THEY'RE HIS BILLS, HIS DEBT! I must be missing something. Thank God I got a job.

My patience is gone when it comes to money with him. I got a job and every penny that I will make there will go to pay my bills back at home just so I don't have to hear "I'm not going to use all of my savings to pay for a useless apartment in Florida" I don't want to still pay rent either since we're not living there but why don't you make me feel a little bit more like shit about it. Yeah I appreciate that.

Ugh, he always says that he doesn't mind paying my bills for me and stuff but I care and I don't want money to become an even bigger issue than it already is. Over it.

Lastly, I got the job that I REALLY wanted :) I made a celebratory dinner last night, got beer, just made an overall nice night for us..he didn't care. I think from now on I will have to make ME happy and just make sure I'm ok.

"Cause you know that you’re so cold"